it's my life

A couple are dressed and ready to go for the evening out. They turn on a night-light,
turn on the answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and throw the cat into the
back yard.
They phoned the local cab company and request a taxi. The taxi arrives and just as the
couple open the front door to leave their house, the cat shoots in past them, They don't
want the cat shut in the house as he always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to
the taxi while the husband goes back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs; the
man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. So
she explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going
upstairs to say goodbye to her mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says.
"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to
come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it
worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her into the backyard!!"