it's my life

My sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School,
is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should
send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer -- and be the butt of
any joke on the Internet.

..


A bartender asks a patron, “What'll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”
The bartender hands him the drink and says, “That'll be five dollars.” The guy replies,
“What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this.”
A lawyer, sitting nearby and having overheard the conversation, says to the bartender,
“You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract
upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.” The bartender's not
impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you get me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch
you in here again.”
The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. The bartender says, “What the hell are you
doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!”
The guy says, “What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life,” to
which the bartender replies, “I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a
double.”
To which the guy replies, “Thank you! Make it a scotch.”

..


A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I'm here
because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The
insurance company paid for everything.”
“That's quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I'm here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for
everything.”
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. “How do you start a flood?”" he asked.