it's my life

One day, three lawyers each purchased a train ticket. Next in line were three engineers
who purchased only one train ticket. Confused, the lawyers asked the engineers, “Why
did you only purchase one ticket when there are three of you?”
One of the engineers replied, “Just watch and you will see!” As they boarded the train,
the three engineers headed straight for the bathroom where all three crowded in. Shortly
after the train got going, the conductor came through asking for tickets. He knocked onthe bathroom door and said, “Tickets, please!” One of the engineers opened the door a
crack and handed out the ticket.
Amazed at this, the lawyers decided that on the way back they would do the same.
On the trip back the three lawyers went up and purchased only one train ticket but noticed
that the engineers didn't purchase any. Confused again, the lawyers asked, “Why didn't
you buy a ticket for the return trip?”
One of the engineers replied, “Just watch and you will see!”" As they boarded the train
the three lawyers headed straight for the bathroom where all three crowded in. Shortly
after the train got going, one of the engineers knocked on the bathroom door and said,
“Tickets, please!”

..


Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.
“Look,” said one to the other, “let's be honest with each other.”
“Okay, you first,” replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.

..


There was this boss screwing his secretary. She came into work every day one week at
10:30 instead of 8:00 like she was supposed to. He asked her, “Who said you could come
in any time you wanted?” She replied, “My lawyer.”

..


Three brothers were going to their father's 90th birthday party. One was a wealthy
lawyer, the other was a doctor, and the last was the president of a huge software
company.
The lawyer didn't have time to buy a gift, the doctor forgot, and the president couldn't
choose what he would give his father. They all arrived, and the party was great. When
they were opening presents the lawyer finally admitted to his father that he didn't have
time to look. The doctor admitted he forgot, and the president of the company told his
father he couldn't choose.
The father said it was all right, and he had to admit something too. “Boys, your mother
and I were never married,” he said.
“You mean we're bastards?” they exclaimed in unison.
“Yes,” he replied, “and cheap ones at that!”