it's my life

One night Johnny's parents were getting ready to have dinner guests. In actuality, his dad's boss and wife. As Johnny was walking by the phone on his way to his room, his dad, who was using the phone, yells into the receiver, "What kind company do company do you bastards at MCI run calling people all of the time trying to make us switch! No you bastards. Good Bye!!!" With that, he slams down the receiver.
Now Johnny had never heard the word 'bastards' before so he asked his dad what it meant.
His father, who had been unaware of Johnny's presence blurted out, "It's another word for ladies or gentlemen. Now go and help your mother in the kitchen. I have to get ready."
Johnny, being the good son he was, obediently walks over to the kitchen just as his mother is taking putting the chicken in the oven.
"Fuckin' bird!" she screams as she burns her hand on the hot oven door.
Now Johnny had never heard the word 'fuckin' before so he asked his mother what it meant.
His mother turns at the sound of his voice and thinking fast answers that it is another word for cooking and he should run upstairs and get ready for company.
Like a good kid Johnny runs upstairs and just as he's walking by the bathroom he hears his dad say, "Shit!" Wondering what that could mean, Johnny steps into the bathroom and asks what that meant.
His dad answers, while trying to staunch the flow of blood from the razor inflicted wound, "It's just another word for shaving cream."
Suddenly, the door bell rings. Johnny ran and opened the door.It seemthat their guest had arrived. "Hello, little boy !", one of the guest said.
"Daddy ! We have a couple of bastards here !", Johnny shouted.
The two guest, a lady and a gentleman got shocked. "Well, you must be Johnny", replied one of the guest, "Where is your parents, kid ?"
"Well, sir, my mom is fuckin' in the kitchen and dad is using shit in the bathroom," Johnny answered, "Would you come in and have a seat, sir?"