it's my life

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
“Isn't it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this
case?”
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question. “Isn't it true
that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”

..


Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers
Amanpreet a bet. “Let's say we bet $50.”
Amanpreet agrees and they're off.
They do a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his
ball into the rough on the 9th. “Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he said to Jon.
After a few minutes, neither have any luck and a lost ball carries a four-point penalty,
Amanpreet pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. “I've found my
ball!!!” he announces.
Jon looks at him. “After all of the years we've been partners and playing together, you'd
cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?”
“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!”
“And you're a liar, too!” Jon said. “I’ll have you know I've been STANDING on your
ball for the last five minutes!”