9:43 PM

lawyer jokes compilation 07

Posted by ANUAR SANi

A very happy couple, on the eve of their wedding day, is killed by two stray bullets in a
robbery gone bad. At the pearly gates they approach St. Peter and ask, “Please, sir, we
were just about to be married, is there any way we can have the ceremony up here?”
“Well,” St. Peter replies, “It's never been done but I'll check into it.”
Two hundred years pass and St. Peter calls up the couple and says, “Okay, you can get
married now.”
A couple of months pass and the happy couple isn’t so happy anymore.
“Please, St. Peter,” the man complains, “my wife is driving me insane. If we weren't dead
already I'd have to kill her.”
“Okay, okay,” St. Peter replies, “I'll see what I can do.”
A thousand years pass and St. Peter tracks down the bitterly feuding couple again to share
the good news.
“That's great sir,” the man exclaims, “but why did it take so long to get married and even
longer to divorce?”
“Well,” St. Peter replies, “it usually takes a long time for a priest to grow old and die.
How often do you think a lawyer gets up here?”


A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a
client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a
parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to
1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply: “Upon review of
your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported
by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you prepared
and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to
the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
“Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish
to have Titles extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I
was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the
property arena, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in
1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed
FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France,
which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession
of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named
Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to
India by the then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and
careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the
blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the
Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it
is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that
He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. I hope to hell you are satisfied.
Now, may we have our damn Title?”


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