it's my life

A man and his grandson, Little Johnny, are fishing by a peaceful lake, beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. Little Johnny says, "Grandpa, can I try some of your cigarettes?"
"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" the grandfather asks.
"No" says Little Johnny.
"Then you're not big enough."
A few minutes pass, and the man takes a beer out of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?"
"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he asks.
"No" says Little Johnny.
"Then you're not old enough."
Time passes and they continue to fish. Little Johnny gets hungry and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at him and says, " They look good. Can I have one of your cookies?"
"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" asks Johnny.
"I most certainly can!" says the grandfather.
"Then go fuck yourself," says Johnny, "these are my cookies!"