it's my life

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

I don't question your existence; GOD

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water

Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

Come the rapture can I have your car?

It's okay, I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?

Jesus. Don't leave earth without him.

Eve was framed.

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full,Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me.

Cleverly Disguised as a Responsible Adult.

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off.

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next Exit

Where Are We Going and Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.

Boldly Going Nowhere

Heart Attacks. God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends

How Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?