it's my life

Little Johnny and his dad came across his puppy, dead in the back yard. Daddy explained that Tiddles had gone to heaven.
"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Johnny as he fought back tears.
At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven".
Little Johnny seemed to take her Tiddles' death quite well. However, two days later when his father came home from work Johnny had tears in his eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning".
Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the boy and shouted, "What do you mean Johnny? Tell Daddy!"
"Well", mumbled Johnny, "Soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy".