it's my life

A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for he and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the movies but could not persuade Little Johnny to go along. Finally he makes a deal with the boy. "I'll give you $5 bucks for every man you see go by in a red hat."
A while later Little Johnny comes running into the house and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts " Dad, if you think your getting fucked in *THERE*, you'd better come outside, there's a Shriner convention going past."