it's my life

A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted. At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class.
She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping.
"Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm.
Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, "At our house, we have everything."
"Don't be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has everything."
"We do," he answered, "My daddy said so the other day."
"Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked.
"Well, my fifteen year old sister came home with her skinhead boyfriend, and told poppa she was pregnant. That's when my dad said 'Jesus Christ, what more could you ask for!?!'"

notebook and slammed it with a ruler. The fly didn't fly away. So she slammed the log once again, again the fly didn't fly away. This drove Miss Baker really mad, so she started to pound the log with the ruler and, as a result, the grade book became a bunch of torn sheets of paper. With the class laughing, she realized what had happened.
Then Miss Baker called Little Johnny's father to school. "You see what your son did to our class grade book?" she said.
"That's nothing." replied the father. "Last month, he drew a naked woman on a fence and then, for two weeks straight, I had to pull splinters out of my dick."